My first and most fabulous bit of news is that I am feeling positive (dare I say happy?!) which has not been the case for far too long. I mentioned in my last round-up that I was struggling with Madeleine’s behaviour and mine towards her. Soon afterwards I saw the Health Visitor and she noticed that I was getting stressed & snappy with Madeleine as we were trying to talk. I assured her it was just a bad day but later on it dawned on me that everyday was a bad day and I was constantly irritable. I felt like I just couldn’t catch my breath so I made an appointment with the doctor and was prescribed some antidepressants. I was a little worried about the affect on Thomas as I’m still breastfeeding but she assured me that the amount of Paroxetine in my milk would be minimal.
Goodness knows how I kept two kids alive in those first few days because I was completely out of it! But once the initial wooziness wore off things quickly started to look up and I soon realised just how awful I had been acting towards my poor girl. Bless her, I don’t think she knew what to make of medicated Mummy! She kept eyeing me suspiciously when she did something naughty and didn’t get screamed at. “Are you not angry, Mummy?”. I’ll never forget her big brown eyes and confused face looking up at me as she said that. Another one for the Guilt Bank.
Eight weeks on and I’m pleased to say we have a much calmer & happier house. I feel less stressed, more organised and I’m nowhere near as shouty!
My calmer outlook has also had a positive affect on Madeleine’s behaviour. She is wetting herself less often and hasn’t been lashing out or shouting as much. She was clearly mimicking me and struggling to deal with my negativity towards her. Anyone for another ride on the guilt train?!
She has, however, become really clingy with me. She likes to know where I am at all times & won’t go far from me even when we’re in the house. If she’s busy playing and then realises I’ve left the room she panics & cries until I reappear. I’m hoping it’s just a phase because it’s becoming really claustrophobic, not to mention frustrating for poor Daddy.
In other news, she had her audiology appointment at the hospital last week. They confirmed she does have some hearing loss in one ear but think it is probably just glue ear. She’ll be tested again in another six weeks and if there is no improvement they will refer her to the ear, nose & throat department. Hopefully it’ll sort itself out and she won’t need a grommet inserted. Poor baby. Although, part of me is relieved there is a genuine problem with her hearing and she’s not just ignoring me!
Nothing much to report with The Boy. He’s 6 months old now and is his usual happy self. He’s now rolling over and has just about mastered a bizarre head-crawl technique. The legs are doing the right thing but he’s not yet figured out that using his arms would be more efficient than his head. Especially when he gets as far as the laminate. Daft kid.
We started weaning a couple of weeks ago and after a slow start he seems to be getting the hang of it. It also seems to have had a positive effect on him taking a bottle (touch wood), presumably because he is now getting used to different tastes and textures. This is good news for my boobs! It means that Daddy can do the bedtime feed and I can have a more relaxed bedtime with Madeleine. It also bodes well for my weekend away in a couple weeks!
I’m hoping that he’ll go into his own room soon but we need to touch up the paintwork and put up a few shelves first. It’s slow progress but he may just have a fully decorated bedroom before his first birthday!
Part of the reason we’ve not done much with Thomas’s room is that we’ve been having the most fabulous weather recently. Who needs to go abroad when you have the West Coast of Scotland? We’ve been making the most of it by getting lots of work done in the garden. Madeleine has been growing some vegetable seeds in a little plastic greenhouse which are now ready to be planted out so we’ve built some raised beds for them.
She has all sorts growing including peppers, leeks and a million cabbages which she insisted upon despite the fact she won’t eat it! Her sunflowers are also doing well, although I’ve no idea where to put them, and we have some wildflower seeds to scatter, too. All the bushes and shrubs are starting to flower & flourish as are the trees so the garden is looking really pretty. I love this time of year when everything seems to bloom & blossom.